In a bold move that has left many scratching their heads, Pakistan's Cabinet Committee on Privatisation (CCOP) has announced plans to sell off 24 state-owned enterprises (SOEs) under a new phased privatisation programme for the period 2024–2029.
Deputy Prime Minister Ishaq Dar, who chaired the meeting, emphasized that even SOEs making profits would be considered for privatisation. "We believe in the power of loss," Dar quipped during the session. "If it's making money, it's probably doing something wrong."
The CCOP has approved the privatisation of 24 public sector entities and has decided that additional public firms will be considered for privatisation following a review by the Cabinet Committee on State-Owned Enterprises (SOEs). The review will categorise SOEs as either "strategic" or "essential." Entities not classified as such will be presented to the CCOP for potential inclusion in the privatisation programme.
When asked about the rationale behind selling profitable enterprises, a government spokesperson stated, “If it’s making money, it’s obviously hiding something — like profits or honesty. We can’t have that.”
The list includes SOEs from various sectors, all carefully selected to ensure that the art of inefficiency continues uninterrupted. “We’re committed to making sure that every penny earned by the public sector is promptly handed over to the private sector, preferably for a fraction of its value,” said one official, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being assigned paperwork.
The government also floated the idea of transferring shares of the Oil & Gas Development Company Limited (OGDCL) held by the Privatisation Commission to a sovereign wealth fund or the Ministry of Energy — but they decided to wait until we entirely run out of the gas reserves.
Critics say selling profitable SOEs is a bit like trading your family mansion for a cardboard box labeled “Future Investment.” The box may look promising, but it’s hard to tell if there’s anything inside — or if it’s already been sold twice over.
Meanwhile, the government assures everyone the privatisation process will be “crystal clear,” adding that any missing boards or sudden island vacations are just part of the new transparency initiative.
As the grand sell-off marches on, many remain optimistic that the mystery of what’s really happening will soon be solved. Selling profitable SOEs seems baffling, but experts agree it’s probably a brilliant plan involving complicated algorithms to ensure a totally fair process without any chance of curruption.