New Delhi — In a surprising act of regional empathy, the Indian government admitted today that the fighter jets shot down during the recent skirmishes with Pakistan were "intentionally sacrificed" in what officials are calling Operation Pity Strike, a classified mission aimed at cheering up the neighbouring country after its humiliating defeat in the Asia Cup.
“Look, we don't like a depressed neighbour,” said a senior defense spokesperson, wiping away a tear of sportsmanship. “They were sad. Really sad. We figured… let them shoot down a couple of planes. What’s national security compared to regional emotional balance?”
The Ministry of External Affairs confirmed that the Indian Air Force was instructed to fly "visibly hittable" aircraft near the border with their transponders set to "Please Aim Here". Leaked documents suggest that one squadron was explicitly told to "fly casual and make it easy."
In a televised statement, Prime Minister Narendra Modi said the decision came from “a place of brotherhood and mature sportsmanship.”
“Sometimes, when you beat your little brother too badly at gully cricket, you let him knock over your toy plane. It’s just good vibes diplomacy.” Modi said, standing beside a framed photo of Virat Kohli and a burning Rafale. “This is not weakness. This is generosity. Cricket is sacred, and so is morale.”
Pakistani media outlets praised the incident as a much-needed morale boost, with one anchor stating, “Honestly, we just feel better now.” Indian officials initially denied any intentional loss, but later clarified that the gesture was a “calculated act of regional emotional support.”
Social media in India was divided. Nationalist influencers praised the move as "a masterstroke of psychological diplomacy," while critics questioned why the air force was being used as a therapy service.
“If we keep losing jets every time we win a match, we're going to need to start playing worse,” tweeted one air force veteran. “Or switch to badminton.”
Meanwhile, the Defense Ministry has hinted at future “compassionate concessions,” including possibly “misplacing” a submarine if India wins the T20 World Cup.