Lahore — In what family members are calling a "deeply on-brand incident," local man Saqib Ahmed, 38, was once again spotted wandering aimlessly through his own home Thursday afternoon before exiting the premises entirely and appearing on the street outside, visibly disoriented and holding a single bathroom slipper.
Eyewitnesses claim Ahmed, who had originally set out to find the TV remote, was last seen near the drawing room before vanishing behind a curtain that “may or may not lead to the old store room or chhoti nan's room extension.” Approximately 15 minutes later, he emerged from a side gate, blinking into the sunlight and asking a fruit vendor, “Bhai, yeh konsi side hai?”
A group of nearby uncles, enjoying chai on the corner, responded helpfully: “Bus nehr-o-nehr chalay jao, beta. Kuch na kuch mil hee jaayega.”
Sources close to the matter say this marks the third time this week Ahmed has been lost within his own multi-portion DHA residence. On Monday, he reportedly tried to find the guest bathroom and ended up in the servant quarters discussing politics with a confused electrician.
“I swear this house has more turns than Cavalry ke signal,” he told reporters, now seated by the canal with a half-eaten banana and no further questions.
His family remains optimistic, noting that Saqib generally finds his way back by maghrib, or at least when the smell of daal reaches the side lawn.